Still wondering what I want to be when I grow up...

I started this post in March but never finished.:

March 4, 2009:

I'm 38 and I have a great job that allows me to use almost all the skills and experience I've gained through all my previous careers working towards making (this part of) the world a better place.

My wife just got a promotion.

We have a great house in a great neighborhood in a good school district where my 4-year-old (who is amazing) will start kindergarten in the fall of '10.

That's the good news. Prime of life, gainfully employed doing meaningful work, future looks bright...

...except that my wife's promotion came without a raise because she works in the newspaper industry -- an industry that was struggling before the economy started to tank. I'm not one of those people who think newspapers are going to disappear anytime soon, but still, it's far from stable and further layoffs (they've already had some) and/or furloughs wouldn't be shocking.

...and my job is at a non-profit -- a designation that has an extra special connotation these days. Similar organizations in this region have closed offices, rolled back salaries or just shut down. So far, all we've done is freeze salaries (which, of course, is actually a pay cut when you factor inflation and rising health insurance rates), but more drastic action could happen soon.

...which leads me to the house. We didn't do a crazy more-than-you-can-afford home purchase and we were smart (lucky) enough to buy in an area that wasn't as artificially inflated as other areas, but we probably bought something right at the very top of our range. Of course a few years ago that wouldn't have mattered. In fact, the other two homes we've owned were essentially the same, except that we got in low and sold high -- right now if we had to sell, even if we could find a buyer, we'd be doing really good to break even.

So, back to the point... Where will I be a year from now? Two years?

Two years ago I was living in this house, unemployed and looking for a job with not much success. Two years from now... who knows.

So, now it's July. I've been fired from a job I was really good at by people who didn't understand the scope of work I was doing and can't see how things are falling through the cracks since i left.

I'm unemployed again, with vastly fewer prospects than last time. Had some freelance work when I stopped working, but that's dried up.

The wife's job was on the receiving end of two furloughs.

I started a publication that's gotten readership well beyond my expectations for one-month in, but eats time and makes no money.

Really need to vent some energy/aggression somewhere, but I'm having a hard time motivating myself to get out of the house and exercise.

I told Evan (he's 4.5) that I'm working at home now and he started crying. I asked him why he was crying and he said that he wanted me to work at "work." I know he wasn't crying for the reason he might be if he was old enough to really understand the situation, but it killed me to see his reaction nonetheless.

I think I need to buy some lottery tickets -- not with any expectations of winning, but I think I've realized that sometimes you just need a little hope.

Gloomy enough for you?

(don't worry -- down days and up days and this is a down day)

Ecclectic Electives, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love a Black Man

Things we learned from this election:

• Apparently birthday candle wishes do come true.
  
• If the GOP truly had some influence over the electronic voting machines, they either didn't exercise it or it was a crazy landslide.
• There's a huge divide in the left between the secular liberals and the religious liberals. This isn't new, and it's been used to influence elections through ballot measures, but this time the ballot measure was killed by the election. It's entirely possible that if you transported Jesus or any of his contemporaries through time to the present that they wouldn't approve of homosexuality, but they'd also be put off by women in positions of power, a classless society and the concept of a free election where any non-felon of age can vote regardless of his or her contribution to or status in society.
  
• Republicans can be surprisingly gracious in defeat and even occasionally optimistic.
• Every "red state" has a "blue state" in it trying to get out. Except Utah.

My favorite post-election conservative comment came from Chris Wallace of wacko dude on Fox News fame on The Daily Show, saying what an amazing thing it was for the U.S. to elect a black man and comparing it to France electing an Algerian as president. Setting aside the dozens of ways to interpret that after-the-fact as an insult to african-americans, it was a genuinely warm sentiment.

I'm feeling a little guilty in this new (and likely fleeting) time of cooperation and understanding and what-not to take pleasure in the in-fighting over on the right. This election truly split the GOP apart... if they'd won they would have been able to keep on keeping on, but now you have the far righty's bitching about McCain and the moderates bitching about Palin. I find it hard to believe that the party will be able to rally around anyone as religously (in the christian sense, not 'ardently') conservative as GWBush, but at the same time, I don't think the conservative morality crowd is going to support anyone who isn't one of them. I don't know who it is, but I feel pretty certain that it's not any of the crowd who ran this year. Maybe it's Orrin Hatch's turn.

Thoughts about the election

So... I just felt I needed to comment on the newest campaign ad out by the Dole camp. It really makes me angry to think that the Republicans, the party of "morals", are sinking to such levels and claiming that certain democrats are "god-less!" To have to go to such lengths to try to win an election speaks volumes, not only about, but also about your record. If you are forced to use tactics where you do nothing but cut down your opponent and have to lie about their past, you have no place in public service! The sad thing is... this is what politics has turned into. I hope Senator Dole loses... and loses BIG, as I do for any politician sinking to the level she did in her last ad, republican or democrat.

Random thought

So I'm watching Miss Universe with the wife (I just watch for the articles)... anyway, they're doing it from Vietnam and they say something about it being a beautiful morning and it occurs to me that it's Monday morning there and it's being show live. So if it's 'live' there on Monday morning and I'm here watching it 'live' on Sunday night, does that mean that I'm not live and am somehow on tape delay?

It was twenty years ago.... last month.

Just 'cause I have it and you can't stop me, here's the editorial I wrote for the final issue of my high school newspaper in my senior year (May 1988).

Jackson: More than just a token
    Well, it looks like we're in for another long summer of missing our favorite shows because of hour-long political advertisements and tedious debates that feature two or three candidates repeating themselves and trying to stay out of trouble.
    This year, however, there's a twist. For the first time ever, there is a serious contender in the race with a new attitude, a new approach, and a base of support that is rock-solid. Over the past year or so, the name Jesse Jackson has become a household word, and the center of the biggest election controversy since Gary and Donna had their little fling in the sun.
    Despite his relatively clean record compared to some of the other candidates, Mr. Jackson is facing odds of about 50 to 1 against getting elected, or even getting the Democratic nomination. Of course he does have one major obstacle to surpass if he is to receive the support he needs and we all know what that is.
    "Jesse is black, so he can't be president." Sound familiar? The one seemingly insurmountable problem he faces is the mass of racism that exists in our society today, whether in the form or bigoted organizations such as the Klan, or just the "closet racists" who believe that all non-caucasians are inferior.
    All of this is just an insignificant factor in an election that is probably already decided. I hate to say it, but it would appear that Mr. Reagan (as skillfully portrayed by George Bush) is going to run away with the whole thing. I suppose that we will have to let the stars guide our course for the next four years.
    Democratic critics are saying that a nomination of Jackson would insure a Republican victory. I don't think his nomination would make a significant difference in the voting, but it most definitely would be a major step towards equal rights.
     Assuming Jackson doesn't get nominated, he would appear to be the logical choice for a vice-presidential running mate for Dukakis, considering that he is running a close second in the polls. Logic, however, is usually not a very strong convincing factor when it comes to politics, and most politicians are not very eager to risk their proverbial necks on anything even the slightest bit controversial.
     Between the support Jackson gets because he is black and opposition he receives for the same reason, this should prove to be an interesting summer for politics. I'm not suggesting you vote for Jackson, nor am I implying that you are a racist if you don't; just close your eyes, listen to what he has to say, and decide for yourself.

Author's note: It was very difficult for me to resist editing this historical document both for style and content, but this is what I was thinking at the time and this is what I wrote. Also note that this was at a high school in South Carolina and a teacher stopped me in the hall the next day and asked me if I was serious.

Historical note: Jackson did not concede the nomination until he got to the convention, despite the fact that had been mathematically eliminated well before that time. He said he wanted to ensure his supports' issues were represented at the convention. (Historical note grammar note: notice the proper use of the word 'ensure' as opposed to 'insure' which was improperly used in the article)

Dharma and Greg go to White Castle

Movie Pitch of the Week:

Dharma and Greg: The Movie
Dharma, Greg, Larry, Abby, Kitty, and Edward sit around in Greg and Dharma's apartment getting stoned. Hijinks ensue. Also, some Jenna Elfman nudity.

Have we no shame? um... no.

With no apparent sense of irony or self-mocking:

"This is an absolutely huge, huge story for us," said Sarah Ivens, editor in chief of OK! magazine. "Essentially you have two of the most beautiful, famous people in the world. We've all seen they've had one baby, Shiloh, and it is the coolest, most adorable baby on the planet. And this time they're having two? It can't get any better."

Yup, that's the news today... Brad and Angelina may or may not have had two more babies. To my shame, though, I obviously clicked on the headline and read the story. sigh.