Ka-Ching

So I understand the motivation behind the new dollar coin and the longstanding desire for the U.S. Mint to phase out paper dollars.

I get that it would save money and I get that it might be easier on the vending machines, but please, would somebody think about the people who would be most affected by this? Nobody is looking out for the strippers. I suppose they could put big baggy underwear on, but that would not only make the tips less likely, I imagine it wouldn't be so sanitary either.

So the solution? The Stripper-Coin-Hooker®, of course. Now I haven't gotten the whole patent thing worked out but I think this should count as "prior art" if anyone tries to beat me to market. The functionality should be pretty obvious -- the Stripper-Coin-Hooker® wraps around the edge of the coin and curves into a hook at the top for easy attachement to stripper thongs. As an added bonus, the Stripper-Coin-Hooker® covers up the "in god we trust" engraved into the edge of the coin -- a handy bonus for people who may otherwise be discouraged from frequenting that sort of establishment due to religious conflicts.

And if you order in the next 23 minutes, we'll also include the Hooker-Coin-Stripper®, a handy-dandy cleaning solution for eliminating grimy buildup you get on dollar coins that have been circulating in strip clubs.